False Alice
by JustSittin'OnCityRoofTops
Summary: Because having her own fairy tale without an outrageous plot twist was invalid. Kagura in 'Wonderland'.


_This was just a very random though that's been prancing about in my head last night._ (^o^) _Honestly though, now that I've finished writing this I find it a little bit odd. _(_ _|||)

* * *

Now she was well aware of the fact that her ancestry was out of this world, _literally_, but of course her alien planet wasn't unfamiliar to things such as fairy tales.

She could vaguely recall the late, rainy nights in which she'd cozily lay in her dusty bed with barely a glimmer of light flooding her eyes.

It was in these rare moments that her long, departed Mami would lull her to sleep with joyous adventures and happy endings of stories she wished would become reality.

And that's where this story forces it's head on the scene.

When they said 'be careful what you wish for', Kagura never expected for such a saying to be giant falcon punch on the face.

Because one moment she was off frolicking about in a land filled with sukonbu and trolling people, and out of nowhere she was suddenly slumped face first on the entrance to hell—like how an innocent child fell in a rabbit's hole.

And well, not aiming to place a pun on their race, but Kagura had always liked the thought of correlating the White Rabbit to her detested brother, Kamui.

Not that she'd ever openly blab about that to anyone.

But the irony of everything rooting from her desire to chase after him and bring his sorry ass back to the world of the sane couldn't even hurl a laugh from her throat.

And get this; while she was lost in her own labyrinth of despair, a stupid cat just had to be her first companion—an unbelievably _annoying_ and _sadistic _cat.

So much for wanting comfort from the infamous Okita Sougo

Though of course, there were times of peace and happiness. One of them was beating u—_playing _with Tweedle Katsura and Tweedle Elizabeth and the other was breaking the laws of abnormal with Mad Mayora.

Well, mostly driving his already mayonnaise-clogged brain more insane with her antics.

But like the inevitable, the moment also came in which she had to take a more rational approach in her situation.

Not that she completely knows what the big hubbub was about.

That was when the knowledgeable Otose came to the rescue with a puff of her cigarette.

The answers she received? Kagura gained nothing.

And why is that? Because a loony, pipe sucking, one-eyed man just had to bust in and join in the fiasco.

Oh could it get worse? Actually it can, when the self proclaimed 'genuine caterpillar', Takasugi suddenly set his eyes on her.

So Kagura bolts away, screeching 'I never want to go through fucking puberty ever again!' at the top of her lungs and stumbles upon a kingdom filled with strawberry milk and issues of Jump tossed all over the floor.

And that's where she finally sees a spark of hope.

Who else could fend off Takasugi but one of his mortal nemeses, Gintoki?

But unfortunately, poor she was either shocked or outraged.

"Yosh, you're running away with me." Gintoki unfeelingly declares and snatches her up like a potato sack.

"W-What? The hell is up with this Gin-chan, let me go!" Kagura launches punches and kicks to his body, but upon experience, he was smart enough to hold her away for a while, just like a cat dangling off a tree branch.

"Oi, you asked me to take care of the problem." He plants a foot on the window, ready to take off.

"I told you to fucking cut up the guy, not to kidnap me to some madao place!" Finally gaining the upper hand, she lands a kick to his gut and scurries off the door.

She could faintly perceive a pained retort, saying that 'Running away is less of a hassle, you ungrateful brat!' or some load of bull like that.

Just when thought she'd entered the safety zone upon stepping on the outside world, it seems as though whoever is out there is truly messing with her.

Apparently, the fun's just about to begin.

Shinsengumi vehicles were lined up, tailing after Takasugi who'd just found her home.

Another reason of the urgency of the police force was Katsura's sudden presence.

She could do nothing, but regret ever consulting the useless 'King of Hearts' and run away even further.

But what's the catch? In truth, Katsura was included in the nightmare with the reason of 'taking back his leader to safety'.

Great so they were all after her.

So that was the troublesome issue just waiting to pop like a pimple left alone for days.

What a dysfunctional harem a 16 years old girl such as herself had managed to conjure up.

And oh, Kamui's appearance on the roof over her head just added the cherry on top.

Looks like he'd entirely gone bonkers and declared to take back his _imouto-chan _due to some unbelievable orders of a Yato organization.

Just when she was more than willing to pull at the buns on her head, somebody had taken up the space beside her, sprinting at the same pace.

"So let me give you a deal. I'll take you back to the Planet of the Sadists where I'm sure none of these idiots have the balls to crash into."

The disbelief in her blue eyes contrasted with the casual seriousness of his reddish ones.

"If it gets these bastards away from me then I'd be more willing to agree. After all," A stroke of a smile manifested on Kagura's lips.

"Killing one nuisance at a time is more like it." Okita smirked at her response.

"I love you too, China."

So what's the conclusion of Kagura's own fairy tale?

Well let's just summarize it to a fucked up rendition of Alice in Wonderland.

* * *

_In case any of you are confused, the characters along with their depictions in the story are listed here:_ (∩_∩)_  
_

_Alice - Kagura _

_White Rabbit - Kamui (I've given emphasis on this)_

_Cheshire Cat - Okita_

_Tweedledee and Tweedledum - Elizabeth and Katsura_

_Mad Hatter - Hijikata_

_Absolem(Blue Caterpillar) - Otose (but was ousted by Takasugi)_

_Queen of Hearts - Gintoki (changed to King to fit the character)_


End file.
